


SPACE FAM-A Voltron Group Chat

by highqualitynot



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (all you need), Angst, Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Chatting & Messaging, Everyone Is Gay, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), Group chat, JUST, Memes, Multi, Pining, Probably Crack, Swearing, Trans Female Character, Trans Girl Pidge, a lot of outdated memes, can a chat fic even have plot?, definitely trash, endless pining, its good, lgbt af team voltron, oh boy i sure do love angst fluff and pining, plot? idk maybe, slowburn, that's the reason this is teen & up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2018-11-18 04:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 13,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11284155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highqualitynot/pseuds/highqualitynot
Summary: the New ChatBestButterBean: guyssss we gotta name the group chat!!!Asexual Birb: you right you rightLancelot: i got thisLancelot renamed the chat SPACE FAMAsexual Birb: that's some good shitLancelot: if hunk is our mom and shiro is our dad??? are they marriedHunk O' Pineapples: no we're divorced and i've remarried to shayBestButterBean: awwwSpace Daddy: i'm remarried to matt and alluraLancelot: even tho shay is everyone's daughter??? our pure lil childBestButterBean: what does this space family tree even look like??Lancelot: who knows tbhfuckinpreps: i hate this fucking family-----------------------------------------or, your favourite space lion power rangers just made a group chat and it's full of shitty memes and gaynessyou're welcome





	1. A disaster of a chat. goddammit lance.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry
> 
> i can't help what i meme

CHAT RULES:

Anyone can be added by anyone, except themselves.

You can only be removed by yourself or by whoever added you.

Nicknames can be changed by anyone!

 

CHAT NAMES:

 

Lancelot-Lance 

fuckinpreps-Keith

Space Daddy-Shiro

Gremlin Child-Pidge

Hunk O' Pineapples-Hunk

cash me outside-Allura

OodlEnOOdLe-Matt

BestButterBean-Shay

Princey~-Lotor

 

BACKGROUND INFO:

-Lance and Hunk and Pidge are roommates  
-Allura has her own place (she's loaded) + matt lives there  
-Keith and Shiro are roommates  
-lance hunk and pidge are always trying to convince keef to room with them too (they have a big place actually)  
-this works out fine for allura and matt who are always trying to get shiro to come live with them  
-shay and hunk are dating! both are pure ace beans  
-shiro, allura and matt are all dating  
-The space mice are allura's pets  
-Lance is a Catholic, Shay is a Buddist! Pidge and Matt are athiests, while the rest simply aren't religious/are agnostic.  
-CUBAN LANCE  
-Keith is obsessed with mothman. like. a lot. someone help this boi  
-Hunk is a bakery worker!!!  
-college students!  
-zarkon is a proff. they hate him.  
-Lance volunteers at an animal shelter!!! (lions are there as cats)  
-lamce cries when he meets really pretty people (i.e he ran to the bathroom right after meeting keith to sob about how gorgeous he was)  
-YES THERE WILL BE SOME LANCE/LOTOR BUT ENDGAME IS KLANCE AND LOTOR IS AWFUL

 

ACTUAL CHAT:

 

Lancelot created a group chat

Lancelot added fuckinpreps, Space Daddy, Gremlin Child, Hunk O' Pineapples, cash me outside, OodlEnOOdLe and BestButterBean to the New Chat

Lancelot: what's up fuckers

Gremlin Child: is this hell

Gremlin Child changed their nickname to Asexual Birb

Asexual Birb: i can't believe you gave us nicknames and made a chat you're awful

Lancelot: im proud of that

fuckinpreps: WHY IS THIS MY NICKNAME

fuckinpreps: WHAT THE FUUCK DOES THIS MEAN

Asexual Birb: okay his is pretty funny good job lance

Lancelot: i kno!!!

Lancelot: storytime keef!!!

Asexual Birb: let us teach you

Lancelot: Hi my name is Keith Dark’ness Dementia Kogane Way and I have a long dark black mullet (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my shoulders and shiny purple eyes like polished amethyst and a lot of people tell me I look like Takashi Shirogane(AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). 

fuckinpreps: wat

Space Daddy: why is my name Space Daddy???

Lancelot: because hot damn

Lancelot: daddy~

Space Daddy: end me

Asexual Birb: shiro don't be suicidal

Lancelot: stop it! get some help.

Asexual Birb: good job good memes

OodlEnOOdLe: daddy kink??? really lance???

Lancelot: DON'T KINKSHAME ME

OodlEnOOdLe: my kink is kinkshamimg

Lancelot: fuck u matt

Hunk O' Pineapples: stop it y'all nasties

Lancelot: y'all??? who are you, Keith?

Lancelot: no, no, you're better than that

fuckinpreps: pidge change my name i'll pay u

Asexual Birb: with what

fuckinpreps: food

Lancelot: i'll pay you better food to leave it the same

Asexual Birb: like what????!

Lancelot: home. made. shit.

Asexual Birb: HOME! MADE! SHIT!

Lancelot: H O M E!!! M A D E!!! S H I T!!!

Asexual Birb: YES

Asexual Birb: FUCKIN DEAL LETS SHAKE ON IT

fuckinpreps: LANCE YOU LIL SHIT

fuckinpreps: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU

Lancelot: why??

Lancelot: because im a PREP??? HOW COULD I BE A POSER??? WHAT WILL YOU DO TO ME O' GREAT EMO RULER

fuckinpreps: shut up you shitlord

Lancelot: love you too babe~

Space Daddy: keith's just screaming into a pillow now

OodlEnOOdLe: this boi needs help 

OodlEnOOdLe: we all need help

Lancelot: y'all need Jesus

Asexual Birb: im an athiest

Lancelot: shhhh young pidgeon

Lancelot: you'll be finnnnnne

Hunk O' Pineapples: save me please shay

BestButterBean: sorry, i can't do anything 

BestButterBean: im HELPLESS

Lancelot: nice one shay

BestButterBean: thanks 

cash me outside: what does my name mean?

Asexual Birb: holy shit is that allura??

cash me outside: pidge?

Asexual Birb: YES

Lancelot: Allura is the human equivalent of bringing a gun to a knife fight

Space Daddy: that is true

caah me outside: daddy~

Space Daddy: nooooooooooooooooo

OodlEnOOdLe: yes daddy

Space Daddy: stop it please

Lancelot: why?? sad you've been exposed???

Space Daddy: Lance seriously, change my nickname 

Lancelot: no 

Space Daddy: Lance

Lancelot: i can HEAR the mom voice but no it's too perfect

fuckinpreps: doesn't shiro actually have a daddy kink though?

Space Daddy: NO!

OodlEnOOdLe: he does so

cash me outside: can confirm

OodlEnOOdLe: shiro has the biggest daddy kink 

Space Daddy: betrayed by my own brother, boyfriend and girlfriend!!!!

Space Daddy: besides, i'm not the only one with embarrassing secrets, Keith "I worked at hot topic and only listen to Emo Bands" Kogayne

fuckinpreps: shut th e HELL up sh iro!!

Lancelot: KEITH/HOT TOPIC IS CANON??

fuckinpreps: says Lance! you still watch my little pony

Lancelot: I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW IT HAS LOTS OF QUALITY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, GOOD STORY ARCS AND GREAT ANIMATION

OodlEnOOdLe: oh my god lance is a brony

Lancelot: W E L L MATT DATED BIGFOOT

Asexual Birb: holy shit bubs????

OodlEnOOdLe: KATIE HAD A GOTH PHASE

cash me outside: WHAT

Asexual Birb: I DID NOT

OodlEnOOdLe: YOU DID TOO

cash me outside: oh my god wHY

Asexual Birb: ALLURA YOU CAN'T TALK YOU WROTE FANFICTION IN HIGH SCHOOL

cash me outside: grrrOWL

BestButterBean: what is happening right now

Lancelot: not even i know

<>

the New Chat

BestButterBean: guyssss we gotta name the group chat!!!

Asexual Birb: you right you right

Lancelot: i got this

Lancelot renamed the chat SPACE FAM

Asexual Birb: that's some good shit

Lancelot: if hunk is our mom and shiro is our dad??? are they married

Hunk O' Pineapples: no we're divorced and i've remarried to shay

BestButterBean: awww

Space Daddy: i'm remarried to matt and allura

Lancelot: even tho shay is everyone's daughter??? our pure lil child

BestButterBean: what does this space family tree even look like??

Lancelot: who knows tbh

fuckinpreps: i hate this fucking family


	2. pining keith x2

SPACE FAM

Asexual Birb: HUUUNK 

Asexual Birb: HUNK GET HOME FROM WORK ASAP LANCE MADE DINNER

Hunk O' Pineapples: holy fuck yes

Lancelot: holy shit mom cursed

Lancelot: yes i made dinner

Lancelot: excited?

Hunk O' Pineaples: WHAT DID YOU MAKE???

Lancelot: it's a surprise

OodlEnOOdLe: unlike my marks lol

Asexual Birb: what did you do

OodlEnOOdLe: i MAY have gotten a C

OodlEnOOdLe: dont tell mom

Asexual Birb: screenshotted for future blackmail!

OodlEnOOdLe: betrayed by my own sister

OodlEnOOdLe: HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME

Lancelot: I MADE MY MISTAKES

fuckinpreps: lance you're a fucking mistake

Lancelot: ouch keith i thought you loved me

Hunk O' Pineapples: lance omigod ur a blessing 

Asexual Birb: its true without you two cooking gods I'd be starving myself on undercooked instant ramen and pringles

Lancelot: where's the lie though

Hunk O' Pineapples: lance i worship you

Lancelot: i'd trade my life for yours!

Hunk O' Pineapples: they all will disappear!

Lancelot: we'll plant our garden here!

Hunk O' Pineapples: our love is god

Lancelot: love you too babe~

Asexual Birb: guys don't couple talk on the group chat

Hunk O' Pineapples: im dating shay

Lancelot: i have a crush on someone else

Asexual Birb: stop this

<>

Private Chat between Space Daddy and fuckinpreps

Space Daddy: so...how red were you when Lance said you loved him

fuckinpreps: redder than my jacket

Space Daddy: and how jealous were you when he mentioned his crush

fuckinpreps: very, though i don't even know who it is

Space Daddy: its okay i pined super hard for Matt and Allura you'll be fine

fuckinpreps: shut up shiro you don't understand me

Space Daddy: Keith

fuckinpreps: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU DON'T FUCKING CONTROL ME

fuckin preps deleted their private chat with Space Daddy

Space Daddy: why is my dead gay son so angry


	3. klance are steadily killing their friends through pining and fighting.

SPACE FAM

Space Daddy: keith why

Space Daddy: why did you just punch Professor Zarkon

fuckinpreps: because he's a fucking homophobic little bitch who deserves death

OodlEnOOdLe: jesus

BestButterBean: matt you are...

BestButterBean: also an athiest

OodlEnOOdLe: shut up shay

cash me outside: mattttttttt babe don't be mean to shay 

OodlEnOOdLe: finnnnne

Space Daddy: im so weak for my bf and gf doing coupley things help

fuckinpreps: shiro pines to the extreme

Hunk O' Pineapples: so does lance tbh

Space Daddy: so do YOU keith

Lancelot: wait??? keith has a crush!!!

fuckinpreps: shut your fuck

Lancelot: tell me all about him!!!!

fuckinpreps: no!!!

Lancelot: why nooooot???

fuckinpreps: tell me how to change my name

Lancelot: fine i don't wanna know anyways 

Asexual Birb: you can hear his pout

<>

Like Friends but with Worse Apartments 

Lancelot: why won't keith tell me who his crush is

Asexual Birb: bc he doesn't want to why else

Lancelot: fuck you pidge

Asexual Birb: im ace lance 

Asexual Birb: just cuz you a ho don't mean i am

Lancelot: shut up you meanie

Asexual Birb: wow what a HORRIBLE insult

Asexual Birb: how cruel

Hunk O' Pineapples: pls guys stop

Lancelot: huuuunk

Lancelot: why won't keith tell me about his crush!!!

Lancelot: you don't think he knows i like him...do you?

Hunk O' Pineapples: pffft of course not 

Hunk O' Pineapples: that boy would sooner think allura's mice were in love with him

Hunk O' Pineapples: im sure he has his reasons, Lance 

Lancelot: i should just chill?

Hunk O' Pineapples: yes please


	4. a wild lotor appeared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of you are so sweet?? the comments and kudos are great ily all thank you so much
> 
> as a reward have lotor (sorta ish)and an angsty keef!

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: guys i just saw the prettiest boy i may have actually cried a little

Hunk O' Pineapples: oh??? do tell

Lancelot: so im going to get my daily caffeine fix and i see this guy just in front of me; super amazing looking, like WHOA!!! 

Lancelot: that's not the only reason i liked him though

Lancelot: then he gets his drink and turns around and sees me and HE GAVE ME HIS FUCKING NUMBER AND COMPLIMENTED MY SHITTY FRECKLES 

Lancelot: i wasn't fucking prepared for this

Lancelot: i waS NOT!

fuckinpreps: i though you already had a crush???

Lancelot: i DO, and i actually had to go sob in a bathroom stall after meeting him because he was so pretty and my weak eyes just couldn't take being blessed with such a beautiful sight but

Lancelot: it IS ALSO totally unrequited 

Asexual Birb: lance your crush is NOT unrequited he's just oblivious af and thinks you don't like him either

Lancelot: yeah that's not true

Lancelot: i can still feel the heat from my cheeks w H Y

<>

fuckinpreps created a Private Chat with Space Daddy

fuckinpreps: shiro i need help

Space Daddy: is it about the guy flirting with Lance?

fuckinpreps: WHAT DO I DO

fuckinpreps: I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HIM IT HURTS BUT BOTH THIS NEW GUY AND HIS CRUSH LIKE HIM 

fuckinpreps: AT LEAST HE LIKES THEM BACK!!

fuckinpreps: i just...don't know what to do or how to feel.

Space Daddy: I'm so sorry, Keith. But if it helps, I'm pretty sure Lance cried when he first saw you.

<>


	5. angst dosage 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit's about to go down
> 
> and by shit
> 
> i mean angst

Lancelot created a Private Chat with Princey~

Lancelot: Hi there!

Lancelot: is this Lotor from the Lion's Cup?

Princey~: Yeah, that's me! I'm glad you texted me~

Lancelot: Really? why?

Princey~: I saw you and couldn't help but get excited! You're very cute

Lancelot: im blushing! thank you

Princey~: Would you like to meet up to talk some more and get to know each other better?

Lancelot: Are you asking me out on a date?

Princey~: Are you accepting?

Lancelot: I'd love to!

Princey~: Great! Vrepit Sal's, @6 on Friday?

Lancelot: Sounds perfect!

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: PRETTY BOY! ASKED ME! ON A DATE!

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: c'mon i need someone to rant too he is beautiful im not ready for it

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: are you guys ignoring me?

<>

Private Chat between Hunk O' Pineapples and Space Daddy

Hunk O' Pineapples: Lance looks so sad...can't we say good job at the least?

Space Daddy: I'd love to make him feel better, but it'll make Keith feel way worse. 

Space Daddy: I banned ice cream because my lactose-intolerant lil bro will eat it all and get really sick

Space Daddy: I can't tell if he wants to murder the guy who asked lance out or cry over lance for a while longer 

Space Daddy: I feel so bad for him

Hunk O' Pineapples: man...i guess it is better to just not respond...

Space Daddy: nobody would ask you to choose between friends, Hunk. do what you want

Hunk O' Pineapples: Thanks, Shiro


	6. angst for the soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the hits and kudos?? and comments?? what
> 
> My crops are flourishing. I, a lonely meme farmer, have at last created a successful crop. 
> 
> i can't believe people actually like my shit thank you

Private Chat between Lancelot and fuckinpreps 

Lancelot: you want help?

fuckinpreps: With what?

Lancelot changed fuckinpreps' nickname to Keef

Keef: okay no

Keef: how about KoGAYne that's...that's some pretty good shit

Lancelot: ugh fine

Lancelot changed Keef's nickname to KoGAYne

Lancelot: are you happy now

KoGAYne: yes! 

Lancelot: who's your crush keith tell me allllllll about him

KoGAYne: HOW IS THAT RELEVANT

Lancelot: um??

Lancelot sent a screenshot 

KoGAYne: ThAT WAsn'T LEGalLLY binDING!!!

Lancelot: well no duh but you're still obligated to tell me

Lancelot: it's the right thing to do!!!

KoGAYne: I'll tell you about him but not his name

Lancelot: go on...

KoGAYne: He's perfect, in every way. Kind and beautiful and when he smiles it's like everything stops and everyone looks because it's brighter and definitely more beautiful than the sun. He makes a lot of jokes but I know that he means well, every single time. The way his eyes light up is the most wonderful thing in the universe, I'm sure of it. He's amazing, and I'm in love with him but I know he's in love with someone else. 

Lancelot: Wow...

Lancelot: Keith's Mystery Crush sure seems like a pretty good person huh

Lancelot: who is this guy? is he taller than me

KoGAYne: ehh, you're about the same height

Lancelot: good

Lancelot: but if you ever need someone to rant to about your pining; i can relate!

KoGAYne: okay

<>

Private Chat between Space Daddy and KoGAYne

KoGAYne: what the FUCK WAS THAT

KoGAYne: WHAT THE F UCK WAS THAT

Space Daddy: What the what was what?

KoGAYne: you fucking six year old

KoGAYne: im shouting

Space Daddy: i can hear you doing so

KoGAYne: i told lance why i loved him but he doesn't know it was him i was talking about

Space Daddy: jesus

Space Daddy: just TELL HIM

KoGAYne: I can't! He's in love WITH SOMEONE ELSE

Space Daddy: I can't deal with this bullshit

Space Daddy: im headed to allura & matt's see you later

KoGAYne: i mean at least you swore


	7. HAVE SOME FLUFF IM SORRY FOR ALL THE ANGST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is unexpectedly fluffy
> 
> but it's good don't fret
> 
> also it's a pretty long chapter so there's that

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: me, meeting my crush for the first time:

Lancelot sent youcouldmakeareligionoutofthis.png

Asexual Birb: lance exactly how many times have you watched that video

Lancelot: it's gaining on 70, probably 

Asexual Birb: you need to chill and stop crying over cute people

Lancelot: i can't 

Asexual Birb: yes you can and you should

<>

SPACE FAM

Space Daddy: Hunk, your Pirates of the Caribbean obsession has gone too far

Space Daddy: tOO FAr!!

Hunk O' Pineapples: that's only because it's the best franchise ever, shiro

Hunk O' Pineapples: IN FACT, YOUR PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN OBSESSION HASN'T GONE FAR ENOUGH

Space Daddy: I DON'T HAVE A PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN OBSESSION

Hunk O' Pineapples: BETRAYAL

Hunk O' Pineapples changed their nickname to DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

Lancelot: dude that's too dark for you

Lancelot: your nickname should be something happier

DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES: what would you suggest, o' nickname expert lance 

Lancelot changed DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES' nickname to Pirate King

Pirate King: yes that's some good shit

Asexual Birb: holy fuck mom cursed

KoGAYne: i mean hunk's not wrong

Lancelot: where's the lie though

Lancelot: disney is all i need to live

KoGAYne: i fucking breath disney

Lancelot: the little mermaid is my childhood 

KoGAYne: i still cry over the lion king

Lancelot: actually same

Pirate King: YES

<>

Private Chat between Lancelot and KoGAYne

Lancelot: dude we should totally have a disney marathon!!!

KoGAYne: YES PLEASE

KoGAYne: that's actually a great idea

Lancelot: how bout saturday-then we just binge through as many classic disney movies as we can until we break from lack of sleep!

KoGAYne: friday would mean more movies though

Lancelot: While I'd love to take you up on that offer babe, i got a date with pretty boy Lotor on Friday! you gonna wish me luck??

KoGAYne: sure

KoGAYne: Hey, why didn't you invite Hunk too? he also loves disney

Lancelot: BECAUSE I FORGOT ABOUT OUR BONDING MOMENT AND WANT TO MAKE ANOTHER ONE???

KoGAYne: good i still feel betrayed from that

Lancelot: and i do like spending time with you, Keith!! We’re not rivals anymore i don’t hate you

KoGAYne: oh okay i can't wait!

<>

Keith sighed, a tinge of heat colouring his cheeks. Lance liked spending time with him and Keith was so far gone.

He hoped that the Lotor guy sucked. Keith still wanted Lance all to himself-which was stupid, because Lance wasn't his and already had a crush on someone, possibly two someones, that weren't him.

And if only he didn't just casually flirt with everyone. Lance calling Keith babe made him blush so much he looked like a tomato-it was fucking embarrassing and he didn't know why he liked it so much.

Keith needed to stop. Lance was going on a date with someone else and he would support his friend and not be a jerk to this guy Lance liked and...yeah...Keith could totally be nice to this Lotor guy. Definitely. 

(no, he couldn't)


	8. more angst?? yeah. we're doing this again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> have more im procrastinating my chores

Private Chat between Pirate King and Lancelot 

Lancelot: do you ever cry

Lancelot: because you're really insecure and depressed and hate life and yourself?

Pirate King: Lance, you should really see a therapist

Lancelot: I don't know...I don't wanna just spill my thoughts to someone i don't even know

Lancelot: or to someone who won't do it back

Pirate King: Have fun on your date tonight?

Lancelot: Yeah. Thanks, Hunk. ily

Pirate King: ily too

<>

Lance took a deep breath and adjusted his collar.

Lotor seemed amazing...but what about Keith? 

He wasn't sure if it was right...was he leading Lotor on? Lance had been crushing on Keith for far longer, and much more intensely. Keith didn't like him back though, and there was no way the Mullet Boy would ever date Lance. Lance was lucky to have even scored a date with Lotor.

So why was he having regrets? Something in Lance's gut said that this wasn't going to go well, but he didn't know what to think anymore. 

He'd go on his date with Lotor. One date didn't mean they were together. If it didn't go well, that was fine. He could deal. 

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: lotor was pretty but kinda weird

KoGAYne: in what way??

Lancelot: he said i should stop hanging out with you guys and i hardly mentioned you???

Lancelot: he's zarkon's kid, apparently that’s why

Lancelot: idk what to think

KoGAYne: ZARKON'S SON??? THAT LIL BITCH

Lancelot: okay chill dude

Lancelot: i just think it's a lil unfair to him bc im still crushing super hard on my crush and it's probably leading him on?

cash me outside: that's like...the definition of leading someone on

Lancelot: yea


	9. klance fluff + disney = good shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im FRICKIGN
> 
> so many comments and kudos and?? why do you guys like my shit im so?? what
> 
> here is part one of klance's disney marathon, because im trash and these two are pining

The Beginning:

The door to Keith's apartment burst open with a kick. 

"KEITH! ARE YOU READY TO DISNEY TILL WE DROP!?"

"ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY!"

Lance crashed himself onto Keith's sofa, unceremoniously dropping a huge stack of Disney DVDs on the floor.

The brunette grinned like a maniac. "What first?"

"Is that even a question? We're doing this chronologically, Lance, grab Snow White and a bowl of popcorn."

"I can't wait!" Lance absolutely beamed.

Keith's heart suddenly beat faster, and he smiled a shy, awkward little smile right back. God, Lance was beautiful.

<>

SPACE FAM

Pirate King: i wonder how klance's disney date is going

BestButterBean: Are you salty that they didn't invite you?

Pirate King: naw, id have been watching all the disney movies but with Sexual Tension™ on the side

Pirate King: not worth it

BestButterBean: ew

<>

20 Hours In:

Lance was exhausted. They had made it pretty far already, but he could feel his eyelids drooping.

Keith, sitting next to him, didn't look remotely affected by the sheer amount of time they'd spent watching. It was probably because the mullet boy spent so much of his time awake late at night researching cryptids, but whatever.

Lance looked for a pillow for all of three seconds before deciding that Keith's shoulder would be fine. It was definitely his sleep-deprived brain, not his stammering heart that told him it was a good idea. 

He laid his head on the other boy's collarbone, and Keith tensed under him before taking a deep breath and gently relaxing.

His shoulder was pretty comfortable, and Lance could still see the screen. Also, he could feel Keith's hair near his temple, and it was way softer than any mullet should ever be, especially one treated so horribly by its owner's atrocious idea of self-care. What the fuck?

He felt calm and relaxed though, and let his eyes flutter shut. Keith smelled nice.

<>


	10. serIOUSLY HELP THESE KIDS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is this?? a chapter??!!
> 
> im sorry for the lack of updates, i had no time whatsoever last week and just got a chance to-
> 
> yeah that's bullshit i'm a human disaster
> 
> m o r e k l a n c e f o r t h e s o u l 
> 
> in disney date pt. 2
> 
> and keith is...seriously pining...get this boy some help

Private chat between Space Daddy and KoGAYne

KoGAYne: SHIRO HELP

Space Daddy: what

Space Daddy: its 4 am keith why

KoGAYne: LANCE AND I ARE HAVING THE DISNEY MARATHON AND HE FELL ASLEEP ON MY SHOULDER

Space Daddy: chill

KoGAYne: I CANT HE'S SO CUTE 

Space Daddy: let me sleep

KoGAYne: then WHO WILL I COMPLAIN TOO???

Space Daddy: idk pidge or something the gremlin never sleeps

Space Daddy: but i do 

Space Daddy: i may be at allura and matt's but if i was at home rn id be dead from your pining

Space Daddy: let me FUCKING REST KEITH

KoGAYne: okay okay

<>

Private chat between KoGAYne and Asexual Birb

KoGAYne: help!!!!

Asexual Birb: what is it??? have you hit a roadblock in your mothman research 

KoGAYne: no bc id be crying if i did

KoGAYne: LANCE IS OVER AND HE FELL ASLEEP ON MY SHOULDER IM FUCKINGG SCREAMING

Asexual Birb: you're gonna wake him up then??

KoGAYne: not literally smartass

Asexual Birb: *hisses and backs into the shadows* 

Asexual Birb: im aro ace why would you text me about romance

KoGAYne: shiro said you would be awake just before yelling at me to let him sleep

Asexual Birb: let that man rest

Asexual Birb: he doesn't need more sleep-deprivation okay

KoGAYne: but then who do i scream at

Asexual Birb: yourself, bitch.

KoGAYne: ugh

<>

Private Chat between KoGAYne and cash me outside

KoGAYne: ALLURA!

cash me outside: keith? 

cash me outside: why the fuck are you awake it's 4am

KoGAYne: LANCE IS SLEEPING ON MY SHOULDER AND IM GONNA CRY

KoGAYne: I AM GAYER THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN

cash me outside: keith i want to sleep please let me

KoGAYne: help me

cash me outside: IM GOING BACK TO BED

KoGAYne: please!!!???

cash me outside: no

<>

Mental breakdown aside, Keith took a few moments to appreciate the pleasant feeling of Lance resting at his side.

He breathed in through his nose and the air came out in a puff of breath from his mouth. That is a surprisingly adorable way to sleep, thought Keith. 

Keith awkwardly shifted his arm to rest along Lance’s shoulders. The sounds of Disney movies were slowly fading in the background, and he barely remembered to shut the TV off as he nuzzled the other boy’s hair and let himself fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i guess some people like to leave their tumblrs down here? mine is high-quality-not, if you wanna go check it out. (accurate name, am i right?)
> 
> there isn't a ton of GRIPPING ORIGINAL CONTENT but like...i reblog a bunch of voltron and musical shit, if you like that. 
> 
> feel free to shoot me a message saying that you came from here, that would be pretty cool.


	11. The Disney is good, the Lance is pining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end of the disney date
> 
> also-the lions are coming soon im hyped
> 
> ALSO SEASON 3 IM GONNA FUCKING DIE YOU ALL HAVE TO GO WATCH THE TRAILER
> 
> good thing this is an au so it won't be fucked up by season 3 coming out

Private Chat between Pirate King and Lancelot

Lancelot: HUNK WHAT THE FUCK

Pirate King: ?? it’s 9AM how are you awake

Pirate King: you and keith are supposed to be disney-ing till you drop

Lancelot: WE WERE

Lancelot: I WOKE UP AND KEITH IS CRADLING ME IN HIS ARMS

Pirate King: I have a bakery shift in half an hour stop screaming about your pining

Lancelot: HOW DO EVEN DEAL

Pirate King: gtg bye

Lancelot: HUNK NO HELP ME

<>

Lance wasn’t sure if he wa gonna cry or cheer. 

His heart hammered in his chest. How was this fair? Lance faintly recalled falling asleep on Keith’s shoulder. He DID NOT recall cuddling. At all. 

The TV had been turned off already, likely by Keith just before he fell asleep. Keith was snoring gently into the crook of Lance’s neck. It was adorable. Keith Kogane was adorable.

Lance was in love.

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: hey y’all im headed to the shelter if any of you need me later

cash me outside: what if we just wanna see cats

Lancelot: also fair

Lancelot: feel free

<>

Lance gently moved out of Keith’s hold so as not to wake the other boy up. He was planning on going to the shelter after the marathon; but for the most part Lance needed an excuse to leave before Keith woke up. This way, he could avoid any embarrassment at all. 

He smiled at Keith, admiring him for a few seconds longer before turning around to grab his jacket and head out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is still high-quality-not and i still reblog voltron and musicals and shit
> 
> thanks for reading ily


	12. HEY HAMLET (keith), B E  M O R E  C H I L L

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bam you want some more musicals YES YOU DO DON'T LIE TO ME
> 
> here you go
> 
> also, keef is dying (credit to RandomActsofSambriel for that idea, i was originally just gonna have keith be fairly relaxed but this is both more entertaining and ties in with the rest of the chapter a little more!)
> 
> ALSO CORAN CORAN THE GORGEOUS MAN

SPACE FAM

Pirate King: watch and learn as I teach everyone how to summon a Lance

OodlEnOOdLe: ??

Pirate King: it’s FROOM JAAAAAAAAPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

Lancelot: IT’S A GREY, OBLONG PILL

Lancelot: QUANTUM NANOTECHNOLOGY CPU

Lancelot: THE QUANTUM COMPUTER IN THE PILL WILL TRAVEL THROUGH YOUR BLOOD UNTIL

Lancelot: IT IMPLANTS IN YOUR BRAIN AND IT TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO

OodlEnOOdLe: what the fuck

Lancelot: IT TELLS YOU WHAT TO DOOOOOOOOOO

Pirate King: It summons a Lance within the minute

Pirate King: Quite effective, isn’t it?

OodlEnOOdLe: IM WORRIED ABOUT THE QUANTUM COMPUTER IN LANCE’S BRAIN NOT SUMMONING HIM

Lancelot: don’t be silly i haven’t had a quantum computer in my brain ever

Lancelot: jeremy (that fuckin furry) is a different story

Asexual Birb: what the hap is fuckening

Pirate King: a great musical

Lancelot: just c h i l l pidgeon

Lancelot: b e m o r e c h i l l 

Asexual Birb: that explains nothing

Lancelot: I’m aware. 

<>

Keith blinked blearily at his flashing phone screen. The group chat was totally spamming him with texts, wasn’t it?

He faintly recalled the warm scent of vanilla body wash and mango shampoo and other assorted fancy and overpriced beauty products. Where was Lance? 

Okay, okay, he wasn’t going to panic. Lance was an adult. He could take care of himself. But where was he? Was he safe? Did someone break into his apartment in the middle of the night and kidnap Lance? Holy shit, it was totally Lotor, that little bitch. He had to find him and swoop in and save Lance like a knight in shining armour (Lance would look good in a princess dress, being cradled Keith’s arms, wouldn’t he?) and-

His phone chimed loudly. 

He scrolled through the messages quickly. So that completely explained where Lance was...and nothing at all about computers from Japan.

He debated going to the shelter to see Lance. Nope, Lance would remember their cuddling and Keith would start stuttering and there was literally no way that could go well. He was going to stay there and question his life choices. 

There was definitely a point where it went too far and he was way past that. He needed to calm down, relax, stop thinking about Lance so much. Yeah.

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: look at these adorable pics of some new kittens that just came in

Lancelot: they seem to have all been separated from their moms and the rest of their own litters, so they formed their own

Lancelot: they’re fucking adorable

Lancelot sent blue.png

Lancelot sent black.png

Lancelot sent red.png

Lancelot sent yellow.png

Lancelot sent green.png

Lancelot sent teamkitten.png

cash me outside: my life is complete

cash me outside: im omw i need to see them

Lancelot: they’re actually so cute i love them

Lancelot: coran loves them too 

Lancelot sent mustacheandcrew.png

cash me outside: THEY’RE ALL OVER HIM

cash me outside: OH MY GOD

Lancelot: aren’t you driving?

cash me outside: shut your fuck

<>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> it's my tumblr
> 
> i occasionally post shit and im thirsty for your compliments


	13. LION. RAWR.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enter the lions! also-apartment arrangements are changing ;)
> 
> don't let keith's calm attitude fool you-he's probably crying with excitement
> 
> he is a soft boy on the inside 
> 
> Anyways, I'm currently uploading like crazy and writing like crazy-I'll be gone for a week of vacation on Friday, and then I'll probably take another week to watch Season 3 (and also to binge supernatural, that's what most of my free time is going towards right now). So to make up for that, a crazy amount of updates. 
> 
> ENJOY!

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: lwook at thweir lwittle fwaces

Lancelot sent pureandwholesomecats.png

Lancelot: i want to take them all home with me

Asexual Birb: i don’t wanna be a crazy cat lady

Lancelot: ex-CUSE YOU

Lancelot: I WOULD BE THE CRAZY CAT LADY OF THE HOUSE

Pirate King: Lance you can’t have them all

Lancelot: BUT MOM

Lancelot: LOOK AT THEM

cash me outside: YEA

cash me outside sent lanceandblue.png

cash me outside sent bestfriends.png

cash me outside sent theyluveachother.png

Pirate King: NO MATTER HOW MANY CUTE PICS YOU SEND ME OF LANCE AND THAT KITTEN

Lancelot: huuuuuuuuunk

Pirate King: we can’t have them all

Lancelot: huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunk

Pirate King: we can have three IF I MEET THEM FIRST

Asexual Birb: YES YES YES

Lancelot: GET YO ASS DOWN HERE MEET SOME CATS

Pirate King: don’t be mean

Lancelot: IM SORRY

Lancelot: PLEASE COME DOWN HERE AND MEET SOME CATS

Pirate King: better

Asexual Birb: whipped

Pirate King: pidge don’t be mean

Asexual Birb: SORRY LANCE

Lancelot: ha who’s the whipped one now

Pirate King: Lance do you want cats or not

Lancelot: SORRY

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: GUYS WE GOT THE CATS 

Lancelot: hunk and pidge took them home bc i still have a bit of my shift left

Lancelot: i knew you wouldn’t be able to resist, Hunk ;)

Pirate King: i saw them and im weak

Pirate King: here’s a pic of our beautiful daughters

Pirate King sent aren’ttheypawfect.png

cash me outside: I WANT A CAT *sobs* but they might eat my mice

Lancelot: you could always train them not to

cash me outside: YOU CAN TRAIN CATS??!!

Lancelot: Of course! They’re a little harder to work with than dogs, but that’s a given. 

cash me outside: shiiiiiiiiroooooooooooooooooo

Space Daddy: what?

cash me outside: if you move in with us we’ll get a cat

Lancelot: why can’t you just get one

cash me outside: i refuse litter duty

cash me outside: i’m gonna make matt and shiro do that

Space Daddy: How is that fair??!!!

cash me outside: i’ll vacuum for fur

Space Daddy: what do you think, matty?

OodlEnOOdLe: actually sounds good to me i hate vacuums

Space Daddy: okay

Space daddy: i’ll move in and we’ll get a cat!

KoGAYne: WHAT 

KoGAYne: what ABOUT ME

KoGAYne: are you abandoning me shiro

Space Daddy: I CAN VISIT ALL THE TIME

Lancelot: YOU CAN ALSO MOVE IN WITH US

KoGAYne: four people and four cats is a lot for one apartment

Lancelot: well….i could move in with you instead?? Then two cats and two people in two apartments

KoGAYne: that’ll work

KoGAYne: i want the red kitten from the photos earlier

Space Daddy: I WANT THE BLACK CAT

Lancelot: aight im writing you both down

Lancelot: and gain some chill shiro, we just got them in today. there’s no competition

Asexual Birb: did you just unironically use aight

Lancelot: ARE YOU MOCKING ME

Lancelot: I P R OVIDE YOU PEOPLE WITH CAT TIME

Lancelot: HOW DARE

Lancelot: I AM A BUSY PERSON WHO HAS LITTLE TIME TO TEXT SUPER COMPLEX WORDS AND PHRASES

Lancelot: BE MORE CHILL PIDGE

Asexual Birb: okay jeez 

Lancelot: ALRIGHT then im headed home to start packing up my stuff

Pirate King: That’ll take a while

Lancelot: shut up hunk

Lancelot: don’t blow up my phone while i’m driving 

Asexual Birb: okayyyyyy fiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay OKAY BUT I NEED TO LISTEN TO THE LIGHTNING THIEF MUSICAL BECAUSE APPARENTLY GEORGE SALAZAR PLAYS GROVER AND IM?? I LOVE HIM
> 
> go check out my tumblr, if you have nothing better to do. you probably do though. sorry. 
> 
> high-quality-not


	14. guess who's back. back again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's both me and our resident purple asshole Legolas 
> 
> but not shay, she's adventuring in asia, apparently (don't ask where these storylines come from)
> 
> i've returned from vacation, so of course the first thing i do is shitpost
> 
> and i binged season three 
> 
> #notmyshiro
> 
> #he'snotmyfuckingshiro
> 
> i gotta include my wife ezor at some point so expect that in a while i guess i write these pretty far in advance

SPACE FAM

Asexual Birb: hey where is Shay anyways?

cash me outside: yeah, our daughter is being super inconsistent on here

Pirate King: She’s away on a trip with her family to Asia; last time she texted was right before leaving and data is overpriced so she didn’t bring her phone with her

Lancelot: and she didn’t tell us? sad

Pirate King: More like you guys didn’t notice. sadder 

Asexual Birb: yeesh

Asexual Birb: he isn’t wrong

Lancelot: SHAY IM SORRY I’VE FAILED YOU

Pirate King: Relax, relax

Pirate King: I’m sure she’s enjoying herself anyways

cash me outside: she better send us pics bc i haven’t been anywhere in asia since i was like 13

Asexual Birb: most of us have never been to asia

Pirate King: Allura is just the rich one who has

Asexual Birb: ah yes i forget sometimes

<>

 

SPACE FAM

Asexual Birb: *singing* dysphoria...its a bitch!

Pirate King: LANCE AND I ARE ON OUR WAY

cash me outside: IM COMING TOO

Asexual Birb: wat

Pirate King: WE'RE COMING BACK HOME

Lancelot: WE'RE BRINGIN' MAKEUP AND ICE CREAM AND SHITTY CHICK FLICKS

cash me outside: LETS MAKE SOME COOKIES

Pirate King: LETS DO EACH OTHERS NAILS!!

cash me outside: I WANNA DO PIDGE'S HAIR SHE DESERVES IT

Lancelot: I GOT FACE MASKS LETS PAMPER OURSELVES!!!

cash me outside: YES YES YES

Lancelot: i got Mean Girls!

Asexual Birb: YES

OodlEnOOdLe: IM ON MY WAY

Lancelot: DRIVING AT 90 DOWN THOSE COUNTRY LANES

Lancelot: SINGING TO "TINY DANCER"

Lancelot: AND I MISS THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL

Lancelot: AND ITS REAL

Lancelot: WE WATCHED THE SUNSET

Lancelot: OVER THE CASTLE ON THE HILL

OodlEnOOdLe: lance chill 

Lancelot: no

KoGAYne: WAIT FOR ME

Space Daddy: ME TOO

Asexual Birb: you guys are the best <3

<>

Lotor glared at the happy group of friends as they rowdily joked around and pushed each other on their way around campus. 

Lance had his arm around the shoulders of another boy, who was clearly into him. 

That kid...Kogane, wasn’t it? He didn’t deserve Lance, not like Lotor did. Lance was HIS, and nobody elses. He could make Lance happy, those other ‘friends’ of his were just hurtful.

Ever since their date, after Lotor had calmly told Lance the best way to get rid of his doting friends, Lance had been ignoring his calls. Occasionally, Lotor saw him flirting with the Kogane Kid. 

They were only hurting him. And Lotor was going to save him. 

No matter the cost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> it's mostly shitpost im sorry my tumblr sucks
> 
> im posting alot about season 3 tho because it ruined me I MEAN ALL THAT KEITH/LANCE WHAT SOFT SOFT BOYS THE SOFTEST OF THE BOYS


	15. Exactly HOW MANY of you fuckers had an emo phase?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in a heartbeat deserves a movie or a tv show
> 
> i just love it so much
> 
> also-lance moves in to keef's apartment. it isn't mentioned, but imagine keith lifting a bunch of boxes and sweating alot and he just takes off his shirt and lance literally dies in the corner because these boys are pining so hard

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: im still crying over in a heartbeat

KoGAYne: i’ve been crying for so long,,, it just,,, it so perfectly captures a struggle i had for so long,,, in a relatable, soft,,, humorous and yet gentle way,,,

Lancelot: big mood

OodlEnOOdLe: they are so soft,,, the softest boys

Space Daddy: matt allura and i are watching it for the gazillionth time and crying more

cash me outside: my heart, my soul, i love this more than life itself

Lancelot: b i g m o o d 

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: *shouts in spanish*

Lancelot: *curses in spanish*

Lancelot: *cries in spanish*

KoGAYne: ??

Lancelot: *judges you in spanish*

KoGAYne: ??!!

Lancelot: *mentions that shiro’s shit is really heavy in spanish*

KoGAYne: !!

Lancelot: *doesn’t care that you’re helping me it’s still really fucking heavy in spanish*

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: shiro,,,buddy,,,

Space Daddy: What?

Lancelot: why are your walls so dark purple

KoGAYne: shiro had an emo phase too ;)

Asexual Birb: *FLIPS MY SHIT*

Asexual Birb: WHAGBOQR:HIO:NGEHIOQIOJ:

Lancelot: did everyone but Hunk and I have an emo phase

OodlEnOOdLe: katie had one

Asexual Birb: so did matt

cash me outside: i had an emo phase and a preppy phase within a single year

KoGAYne: wow

Space Daddy: Keith’s emo phase was definitely the most intense

Lancelot: did he ever leave his emo phase

Space Daddy: no

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my tumblr is high-quality-not
> 
> ezor is my wife and i post about her a lot


	16. the wrist!!! it burnnnnssssssssss!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka i project my feelings about art onto allura. she does digital art, while shay does traditional painterly and also fashion design! because why not

SPACE FAM

cash me outside: ugh end me

Space Daddy: what why?

cash me outside: i just worked on a ref piece for three hours

cash me outside: my hand is so cramped i can’t deal

Pirate King: rip allura, 2017

Pirate King: the only other artist who can sympathize with her about this is in Asia

OodlEnOOdLe: im just shocked you did art during midday

OodlEnOOdLe: usually i wake up in the middle of the night to see you furiously shading

OodlEnOOdLe: there is no way that’s good for your eyes

cash me outside: don’t really care

Space Daddy: The middle of the night? But the screen is so bright and the rest of the apartment must get dark!

OodlEnOOdLe: like i said,,, HORRIBLE FOR YOUR EYES

cash me outside: that’s rough buddy

cash me outside: i do what i want to

Pirate King: *disappointed frown*

Pirate King: Take care of yourself, Allura!

cash me outside: I D O W H A T I W A N T T O

Space Daddy: :(

cash me outside:: dammit no i won’t crack

Space Daddy :’(

cash me outside: I WILL STAY STRONG

Space Daddy: :’0

cash me outside: ugh fine 

cash me outside: I’ll try to draw in the daytime more often

Space Daddy: :)

OodlEnOOdLe: we’re all just weak for shiro, really

cash me outside: im?? Yea

Space Daddy: aw you guys <3

Pirate King: AWW

Asexual Birb: I’m getting cavities dammit

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: y’all CHECK OUT MY NEW ROOM

Lancelot sent room!.png

KoGAYne: i helped move shit

Pirate King: IT LOOKS SO GOOD

Pirate King: how’s Azul, Mango and Ivy seem to really miss her

Lancelot: we can just bring her and Rosie over for a visit sometime

Asexual Birb: YES PLEASE

KoGAYne: i want someone to forge a sword out of pure kitten happiness and smite me with it just so i can be killed with a happy kitten sword

Lancelot: then i’d pressurize your ashes into a gem and put it in the hilt of another sword or a dagger so that someone can avenge you

KoGAYne: im not dying unless im killed believe me

Lancelot: how’s shiro’s new room?

cash me outside: pretty nice but rn all of us are sleeping on the couches bc we’re waiting for the new bed to get here

KoGAYne: new bed?

cash me outside: it needs to be pretty big to fit three people

OodlEnOOdLe: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Lancelot: EW EW EW

KoGAYne: I FEEL VIOLATED

Asexual Birb: I AM LITERALLY GOING TO KILL MYSELF

Space Daddy: what does that symbol even mean?

Asexual Birb: you don’t want to know

Space Daddy: o...kay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> season 4 is coming, matt is coming, im hyped af
> 
> also can someone explain shlav to me is it a crack ship or what?? 
> 
> just talk to me here or there im thirsty for your compliments


	17. bee happy, bee healthy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't help but throw in my two cents about Kuron
> 
> one half of the fandom is gonna love and support him, the other half is just "I WON'T HESITATE BITCH" and im the other half
> 
> also bee movie. when i say outdated memes i mean OUTDATED memes.

SPACE FAM

KoGAYne: if shiro had a clone we would all know it

Pirate King: what do you mean

KoGAYne: observe this scenario

KoGAYne changed their nickname to Clone

Clone: Kill him! He’s the clone

Clone changed their nickname to Anyone else

Anyone else: The REAL Shiro would n e v e r pass up an opportunity to die!

Anyone else changed their nickname to KoGAYne

Space Daddy: ...it’s true

Pirate King: i see that

KoGAYne: Space Daddy has approve this message

Space Daddy: okaY SHUT UP KEITH

KoGAYne: number 1 Space Daddy Approved Message

KoGAYne: Space Daddy Seal of Approval

Space Daddy: why are you so mean to me

KoGAYne: im just thoroughly enjoying the nicknames

Space Daddy: waIT

Space Daddy: YOU FIGURED OUT HOW TO CHANGE THEM

Space Daddy: CHANGE MY FUCKING NICKNAME KEITH

KoGAYne: no :)

Lancelot: *grabs popcorn* shit’s about to go down

Space Daddy: Keith

KoGAYne: sorry shiro :)

Space Daddy: KEITH

KoGAYne: i think your nickname suits you :)

Space Daddy: go fuck yourself kogane

KoGAYne: wow that’s so unlike you

KoGAYne: swearing and all

KoGAYne: *puts hand to forehead* i’ve pushed this man as far as he can go

Lancelot: OKAY KEITH IS MY FAVOURITE

Pirate King: don’t lie lance

Pirate King: Keith has always been your favourite

Lancelot: shut up hunk

Pirate King: :)

<>

Private chat between Space Daddy and KoGAYne

KoGAYne: aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Space Daddy: i get that your whole motif is struggling with pining after lance but im still very disappointed in you, Keith

KoGAYne: are you going to help me im dying here

Space Daddy: not unless you change my nickname keith

KoGAYne: ugh fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnneeee

KoGAYne: what to?

Space Daddy: just have it as infinitestress or something else that describes me

KoGAYne: but space daddy does describe you??!!

Space Daddy: Keith

KoGAYne: i got this

KoGAYne: im changing it in the group chat for all to see

Space Daddy: okay?

<>

SPACE FAM

KoGAYne changed Space Daddy’s nickname to Honey Nut Shiros

Honey Nut Shiros: honestly anything is better than Space Daddy

Asexual Birb: millennials have completely ruined the word Daddy

Honey Nut Shiros: tru tru

Honey Nut Shiros: at last my suffering is over

Lancelot: not quite

Asexual Birb: oh i see what’s happening here

Lancelot: ACCORDING TO ALL KNOWN LAWS OF AVIATION

Honey Nut Shiros: noooooo

Lancelot: THERE IS NO WAY THAT A SHIRO SHOULD BE ABLE TO FLY

Asexual Birb: ITS WINGS ARE TOO SMALL TO GET ITS BUFF LITTLE BODY OFF THE GROUND

OodlEnOOdLe: THE SHIRO, OF COURSE, FLIES ANYWAY

Honey Nut Shiros: NOT YOU TOO MATT  
Lancelot: BECAUSE SHIROS DON’T CARE 

Asexual Birb: WHAT HUMANS THINK

OodlEnOOdLe: IS IMPOSSIBLE

Honey Nut Shiros: well it’s still better than daddy kink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> TALLKKKK TO MMMEEEEE
> 
> tell me about ur thoughts on season 3, or about existence itself or that person you're crushing on JUST CHAT WITH ME IM LISTENING


	18. i bet when klance is finally together shiro and hunk are gonna cry tears of happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im torn 
> 
> is keith HOPELESS HOPELESS, is he HELPLESS HELPLESS
> 
> or is he (ooh i do i do i do) (hey!) HELPLESS! LOOK IN TO YOUR EYES AND THE SKY'S THE LIMIT

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: WHO WANTS TO GO IRONICALLY SEE THE EMOJI MOVIE WITH ME

Asexual Birb: jesus fuck no

Lancelot: please

Asexual Birb: don’t spend your money on that shit

Asexual Birb: that is bad shit

Lancelot: fine

Lancelot: i’ll pirate it off the internet and we can watch it then

Asexual Birb: i am not watching that goddamn movie

Lancelot: please?

KoGAYne: i do want to see how bad it is

Lancelot: SEE KEITH LOVES ME AND WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH ME

KoGAYne: okay

Lancelot: clear your schedule @7 to waste 90 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back!

KoGAYne: haha i’ll be there!

Lancelot: It’s a date!

<>

 

Private chat between Honey Nut Shiros and KoGAYne

KoGAYne: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Honey Nut Shiros: please chill

 

KoGAYne: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Honey Nut Shiros: *looks into the camera like im on The Office*

KoGAYne: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Honey Nut Shiros: please stop

<>

SPACE FAM

Lancelot: ya know if almost everyone else has changed their nicknames...it’s about time

Pirate King: what are you gonna do

Lancelot changed their nickname to Lance Lance Revolution

Lance Lance Revolution: i know, i know

Lance Lance Revolution: it’s perfect

<>

Private chat between Honey Nut Shiros and KoGAYne

Honey Nut Shiros: you’re just imagining Lance dancing now, huh?

KoGAYne: shut your fuck

Honey Nut Shiros: your entire face is red

KoGAYne: shuT UP!!

<>

 

Private Chat between Pirate King and Lance Lance Revolution

Lance Lance Revolution: i wanna go dancing with keith

Pirate King: im aware

Lance Lance Revolution: really??

Pirate King: you have a flippin pining playlist, lance

Lance Lance Revolution: flippin??? :0 you said a baaaad wordddd hunkkkk

Pirate King: shut up lance

Lance Lance Revolution: okay okay 

Lance Lance Revolution: OKAY BUT IMAGINE

Lance Lance Revolution: keith's hips do not lie and 

Lance Lance Revolution: theres so many songs that i just

Pirate King: please leave me alone

Lance Lance Revolution: okay okay

<>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> tell me about ur pet peeves 
> 
> i hate it when people wear shoes inside the house, put pasta in before the water is boiling, fail to replace dried dry-erase markers and a lot of other shit. 
> 
> just chat to me i live for your comments


	19. Lotor & The Galra Gals (can step on me and id thank them)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmmmmm fuck me up with that shitttttt
> 
> lotor can step on me
> 
> lotor's generals can step on me
> 
> aczor is legit OKAY YOU CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE

Lance flipped through a few chapters in his textbook, frowning as the words swam off the page. He was exhausted.

Lance groaned gently as he stood up from the table and headed to the counter, ordering himself another cup of his favourite tea, chat latte. He could appreciate the pun even without speaking French. 

“Oh, let me pay.” 

Lance blinked in shock, turning to face the stranger.

The girl who stood in front of him was tall, maybe even taller than Lance himself. She had dark skin and hair in short ringlets, dyed purple, blue and pink. The stranger had a gravelly voice and a large smile, and Lance could have sworn he’d seen her before. 

“Who are you? Why are you paying for my drink?”

“A friend. Name’s Zethrid.”

Lance picked up his drink, smiling at Zethrid. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you too.”

<>

The Girlfs

ZZZ: yo lotor

ZZZ: i met ur boyf

Princey~: Yeah?

ZZZ: he is pretty

Princey~: Yeah…<3

Nyarti: So you bought his drink for him?

ZZZ: some stupid cat pun tea latte or whatever

Nyarti: Hey!

ZZZ: Sorry

ZZZ: i did buy the drink

Princey~: Good. I want him to get to know you all.

Nyarti: Hey where are Ezor and Acxa anyway? They’re usually the first to respond on this chat

ZZZ: probably making out

Acxa: ???!! 

Acxa: NO!

Acxa: WHY is THAT what you jump to whenever i don’t answer my phone!!??

PoofyPoof: guys please acxa and I aren’t dating!

ZZZ: hahah that’s a good one

Nyarti: *cry-laughing*

Princey~: don’t lie to us ;)

Acxa: im done with this shit

Acxa left the The Girlfs

PoofyPoof: look what you did! Now i have to go talk to her

Princey~: go talk to your GIRLFRIEND

PoofyPoof: i could literally kill you in your sleep lotor please

Princey~: okay okay sorry

<>

Private chat between Acxa and PoofyPoof

PoofyPoof: Are you okay?

PoofyPoof: Acxa?

PoofyPoof: They were just joking...it’s okay.

PoofyPoof: Ace? Why aren’t you responding?

PoofyPoof: I’m worried, Ace. 

Acxa: I’m okay

PoofyPoof: They didn’t mean it…

Acxa: I know.

PoofyPoof: I’m sorry 

Acxa: You shouldn’t have to be.

PoofyPoof: Do you want me to put you back in the chat?

Acxa: Maybe...not now.

PoofyPoof: Do you want me to come hang out with you?

Acxa: No. Just, not now.

PoofyPoof: ...Okay. Talk to me, Ace, I’m here for you.

<>

Acxa winced, rubbing her temples lightly. She knew, of course she knew that Lotor, Zethrid and Narti were just making fun of Ezor and her but it still hit close to home. Yeah, they were close, but there was no way Ezor would want to date Acxa. Orphan, loner, hothead Acxa. 

Meanwhile, Ezor wondered what exactly had made Acxa so mad. Was the idea of dating her that awful? She had hoped Acxa would want to as well. Her friends’ teasing was exactly what she wanted. When had friendship turned into a crush anyway? 

The rest of their friend group was beyond annoyed at the two girls. Couldn’t they just shut up and make out already? The pining was overwhelming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> i made a post a lonnnng while back about how ezor DEFINITELY calls acxa ace. and so i used that here. i love them.
> 
> and yes, acxa saying she was an orphan/loner/hothead was meant to parallel keith, and the endless pining between ezor and her is meant to parallel klance. ;;)))
> 
> in case ur wondering how narti can text them without eyesight, she has a text-to-speech program thing which reads the words to her and writes back her texts when she speaks (hence, perfect grammar) . idk if that actually EXISTS but i want my lizard cat lesbian in their group chat and i want her there now
> 
> andddd question of the chapter-what clothing is ur signature clothing? like, if you were a cartoon character what item could you ALWAYS have on (glasses don't count). for me, it's an oversized sweater. last year i wore one to school every day except for two. i almost got heatstroke several times. that was fun.


	20. shlav is canon, apparently

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone save shiro
> 
> s l a v i s h e r e

SPACE FAM

KoGAYne: when i was

KoGAYne: a young boy

KoGAYne: my father (space daddy)

KoGAYne: took me into the city

KoGAYne: to see a marching band

Honey Nut Shiros: keith

KoGAYne: he said

KoGAYne: “Son, when you grow up, would you be the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?”

Honey Nut Shiros: KEITH

KoGAYne; thank you that’s all the scheduled emo for today :)

<>

“Alright Lance. I’m doing this. I can’t believe i’m doing this, but let’s do it.”

Lance shoved an entire handful of popcorn in his mouth in agreement. 

“Let’s watch the fucking emoji movie.”

“Welcome to 20-fucking-17, bitches.” Lance muttered, pressing play.

<>

SPACE FAM

Honey Nut Shiros: okay the new TA in Iverson’s class makes me want to kill myself

cash me outside: rip shiro 2k17

Honey Nut Shiros: “you know, there are several alternate realities where you and i are fighting aliens in space! Together! You have a Norwegian accent, and are named Sven. I’m an alien with eight arms.” 

Honey Nut Shiros: “don’t worry there is a 56% chance that you’ll eventually enjoy this class.” 

Honey Nut Shiros: “i can’t go to the bathroom ALONE! There’s water in there! I could drown!” 

Honey Nut Shiros: slav wiLL BE THE END OF ME

OodlEnOOdLe: rip in pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> tell me, fren,,,, what's ur favourite food? i love having long conversations about food so talk to me about it


	21. this BITCH IS EMPTY! YEET!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know what i love? the team supporting and loving each other!!
> 
> so here's some of that, along with nerdy stuff bc im trash and also whY HASN'T ANYONE WRITTEN A SUPERNATURAL AU FOR VOLTRON WITH LANCE AS DEAN, HUNK AS SAM AND KEITH AS CAS???!!! GET ON THIS FANFIC WRITERS???!!!
> 
> you oughta know that this whole fic is like 80 pages in my google drive rn so i've actually created a second document to hold more of it bc it just keeps lagging and im done so this is the final chapter of the story according to the first document lol
> 
> don't worry,, there will still be more

SPACE FAM

Honey Nut Shiros: look, slav just came up to me and 

KoGAYne: are you okay

Honey Nut Shiros: no

Honey Nut Shiros: he just told me to look up voltron: defender of the universe and that my friends and i are the paladins of those giant lions in most of the universe’s we’re in

Honey Nut Shiros: im messed up from it

Lance Lance Revolution: but if we’re paladins,,,

Pirate King: aw i never like playing as a paladin

Lance Lance Revolution: yeah yeah, you like monk because there’s so many benefits, we know

Lance Lance Revolution: im the one who usually plays as paladin or sorcerer

Lance Lance Revolution: and pidge is always always rogue

Lance Lance Revolution: BUT PALADINS IN MOST UNIVERSES THAT’S PRETTY COOL

KoGAYne: i feel like i missed something

Asexual Birb: Lance Hunk and I are nerds who play D&D

Honey Nut Shiros: keith’s a nerd who watches Supernatural

KoGAYne: SUPERNATURAL IS A REALLY GOOD SHOW SHIRO

Lance Lance Revolution: YEAH KEITH’S RIGHT

Honey Nut Shiros: klance is canon everybody ur welcome

KoGAYne: i relate to cas because social situations are hard and i relate to dean because emotions are hard but crowley is a demon who loves to make homophobes uncomfortable and if that doesn’t describe me what does

Honey Nut Shiros: if anyone relates to crowley it’s me i am a pansexual with a lot of demons

KoGAYne: okay fair

<>

SPACE FAM

Asexual Birb: there’s only one thing worse than leading,,

Asexual Birb: *rips off card to show Keith Leading*

Lance Lance Revolution: *gasp* KEITH

Asexual Birb: NO

Honey Nut Shiros: where did that even come from

Asexual Birb: in one class that lance, keef and i share, we have to do a group project

Asexual Birb: and lance and i are composed entirely of memes and vines

Lance Lance Revolution: RIP VINE 2K17 

Asexual Birb: VINE: 5EVER IN OUR HEARTS

Honey Nut Shiros: i am very confused

<>

SPACE FAM

Lance Lance Revolution: watch and see

Lance Lance Revolution changed their nickname to Someone

Someone: yo lance, want some? *hands lance a can labelled Lance’s self-confidence* 

Someone changed their nickname to Lance Lance Revolution

Lance Lance Revolution: thIS BITCH IS EMPTY! YEET! *throws*

KoGAYne: Lance???!!! Lance no!

Pirate King: lance!!

Honey Nut Shiros: As your Space Dad i am very concerned!!

Cash me outside: ???!!

Lance Lance Revolution: SHIT IS THIS THE GROUP CHAT

Lance Lance Revolution: SHIT SHIT SHIT

Lance Lance Revolution: um um um

Lance Lance Revolution: i have depression and im going to therapy for it and i have meds i just forgot to take them today and im feeling particularly shitty im sorry im sorry

Honey Nut Shiros: What are you apologizing for!? 

KoGAYne: so your brain chemistry is kinda fucked up?! I still love you!

Lance Lance Revolution: I?

KoGAYne: **WE

KoGAYne: I’m on my way to your room and i bring food and shitty chick flicks p l e a s e let me in 

Lance Lance Revolution: Thanks Kei <3

cash me outside: WE LOVE AN APPRECIATE YOU LANCE

Pirate King: I ALREADY KNEW BUT I ALSO LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU GREATLY

Lance Lance Revolution: Thanks guys <3

<>

Private chat between Pirate King and KoGAYne

Pirate King: since when does he call you Kei?

KoGAYne: i don’t know??! But i love it!

Pirate King: calm your pining gay ass down

<>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> so um yeah i was at camp and there was no tech allowed but whatever it was the best three days of my existence and im probably gonna write a klance camp counsellor au bc of it 
> 
> tell me how you feel about that in the comments 
> 
> and i'm probably gonna take another break for a while to write more before posting so much again,,, im super behind on writing and this is way more recently written than it normally is,, and i start school in a few days im freaked out, anxious and really terrified and the whole thing means slower updates so,,, sorry
> 
> chat to me! tell me things!


	22. hi how are you keith,, keith,,, how HIGH ARE YOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no real excuse for taking so long on this one,,, sorry
> 
> but it good
> 
> THANKS FOR ENJOYING MY SHIT

SPACE FAM

KoGAYne; you could fit like,,, five whole cars in space,,, probably

OodlEnOOdLe: what the fuck keith

OodlEnOOdLe: it’s two am whA T thE f UC k

Lance Lance Revolution: we painted his room red and he refuses to sleep in my bed w/me for whatever reason so he’s sleeping in his room and is totally getting high off paint fumes

OodlEnOOdLe: that’s definitely horrible for you

Lance Lance Revolution: earlier he called 12:30am midnight thirty and i screamed

KoGAYne: lance, b a b y b o y, that’s what it isssss

Lance Lance Revolution: please, keith,,,, please chill

OodlEnOOdLe: how HIGH are you

KoGAYne: whhy do you alwyas chet at monopoly lancceey

Lance Lance Revolution: it’s who i am as a person

Lance Lance Revolution: i have a big family and we all cheat in games like that

Lance Lance Revolution: it’s self defense

KoGAYne: itss cute but r0od

Lance Lance Revolution: okay keith, buddy, we’re gonna get you out of there

KoGAYne: laaaaaaannnncccceeee

<>

Lance gingerly pushed the other boy’s door open. 

“Keith? This is seriously not good for you. Come here, you’re staying in my room.”

Keith was hugging a pillow and screaming something about hippos. 

Lance sighed and grabbed him from under his arms. In retaliation, the other boy glared and pouted and growled vehemently, but Lance simply shifted him into a bridal carry and brought Keith to his room instead. 

He immediately buried himself in Lance’s bed, like a kitten. 

“Your blankets are so, so, so soft, Lance! And, and they smell so...so really fucking good too! Like you!” 

Lance felt his cheeks flush red. “O-Okay, Keith. I-I’m gonna go g-get blankets and i’ll s-sleep on the couch.”

Keith blinked at him, much like a confused cat. “What the fuck do you mean...sleep on the fucking couch? That’s...bullshit! Aren’t you staying? Don’t you, you wanna...sleep here? Sleep with me?”

At this point, Lance was sure he’d never blushed more in his whole life. 

“B-But you said…”

“Ignore whatever shit past me said! The guy’s an idiot! A fuckin...idiot! Come sleep here! With me!” Keith whined. 

Lance blinked at the glaring clock. 2:07 am. 

“Fuck it.” He muttered, curling up under the blankets with Keith. 

<>

SPACE FAM

KoGAYne: how high was i last night whoo

KoGAYne: that was fun i should do it again

Honey Nut Shiros: keith no 

KoGAYne: im an adult you don’t tell me what to do

Pirate King: hugs not drugs

KoGAYne: you don’t control me

cash me outside: keith please

cash me outside changed their nickname to HUGSNOTDRUGS

HUGSNOTDRUGS: h u g s 

KoGAYne: if i wanna get high i wanna get high

Asexual Birb: drugs not hugs

KoGAYne: i am my own person pidge i don’t need your approval

Asexual Birb: geez

Lance Lance Revolution: keith no

KoGAYne: okay

Lance Lance Revolution: don’t do drugs

KoGAYne: alright lance

Lance Lance Revolution: without me

Pirate King: IM SHOUTING

HUGSNOTDRUGS: LANCE WHAT THE FUCK

<>

Private chat between Honey Nut Shiros and KoGAYne

Honey Nut Shiros: what was that

KoGAYne: i was so high off paint fumes last night that i slept in the same bed as lance 

Honey Nut Shiros: no drugs for EITher of you

KoGAYne: im just bad at feelings

Honey Nut Shiros: okay okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> fun fact: the cheating at monopoly line is bc i have a friend whose ENTIRE FAMILY cheats at like every game ever i love her but she cheats at monopoly so much EVERY TIME EUGGHHH
> 
> ple a se comment i love you and want to talk to you a lot 
> 
> question for you fammm-how was your back to school if you just went back? if you d i d n ' t,, then what do you want to see in season four? or answer both if you feel like it! (just TALK to me im thirsty for compliments)


	23. KITTEN PARTY!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well as evidenced by the time gaps between the chapters as of late, SCH OO L IS FU C KING A WFU L FO R F ANF I CS
> 
> sorry
> 
> btw i wrote this when i got my braces off, hence, braces stuffs
> 
> how do y'all feel about a weekly upload thang
> 
> idk what days it would actually be on, maybe just whenever, but i will try my hardest to update once a week till the story's done
> 
> which could be pretty soon, all considering

SPACE FAM

Lance Lance Revolution: guys how do you feel about

Lance Lance Revolution: A KITTEN PARTY

Lance Lance Revolution: Team Kitten haven’t seen eachother for a while

HUGSNOTDRUGS: all of you GET OVER HERE NOW AND BRING YOUR FUCKING CATS WE’RE DOING THIS

Pirate King: geez chill

Asexual Birb: we’re on the way

<>

Acxa stared at the group. And stared. And continued to stare. 

“Bitch what the fuck.”

“Eloquent.” Ezor smirked. 

Goddammit, thought Acxa. Stop being so adorably snarky. 

“That one kid looks like you.” Zethrid added helpfully, as if Acxa hadn’t already noticed.

Narti questioned. “Do you have any mystery siblings we don’t know about?” 

“I’m an orphan, lord knows how many relatives I don’t know I have.” Acxa muttered.

“So, you could actually be related?” Lotor asked, shocked. “I’d feel pretty bad about screwing with his life if you’re related.”

“I think you should feel pretty bad about screwing with somebody’s life whether they’re related to Acxa or not.” Narti said cooly. 

Lotor pouted. “Shut up Narti, I just want my boyfriend back.” 

“He seems pretty into the ‘maybe related to Acxa, maybe not’ kid.” Ezor chortled. 

Lotor frowned, seemingly not shocked by the idea. He just looked a little sad. “Yeah. I guess so.”

<>

SPACE FAM

Asexual Birb: GUESS WHO FOUND OLD PICTURES OF SHIRO AND MATT IN BRACES

KoGAYne: w HA T!!!?? SHOW US

Asexual Birb sent nerdybro.png

Pirate King: im liVING

OodlEnOOdLe: nooOOOOOOOOOO stoOOPPPP

Honey Nut Shiros: DE A R LO RD

OodlEnOOdLe: S T O P

Honey Nut Shiros: END THIS

HUGSNOTDRUGS: i think its cute :)

OodlEnOOdLe: okay!

Honey Nut Shiros: okay!

Asexual Birb: ;)))

<>

Pidge released the door of the cat carrier, letting Ivy out into Allura, Matt and Shiro’s living room. The tabby kitten immediately crashed into one of several cardboard boxes that her brother and his s/o’s had set up. Pidge giggled lightly. Ivy must have been excited to see her ‘littermates’ again. 

She heard a distant pounding from the door (probably Lance, Keith and Hunk, who’d ran off to grab assorted cat treats). 

Allura pulled the door open and a group of laughing boys and armfuls of cat toys and treats fell through the entrance. 

“Hunk crashed into a dog bone display! And all he said was,” Lance gasped out. “That really rattles my bones!”

He extended the ‘rattles’ for so long it was uncomfortable. 

“The whole time we were there, Keith pointed at,” Hunk paused to breathe. “Every picture of an animal and called it a cryptid!”

“I can’t even believe you’re my brother.” Shiro shouted from where he was wrangling the rebellious Black (the polyamorous trio was so very great at naming things) into the living room. 

Keith just laughed, blushing as Lance elbowed his side playfully.

She smiled, amused but exasperated. Pidge was so done with Keith and Lance’s shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> cat or dog person? the real question
> 
> i love both, but cats a little better be ca us e CATS
> 
> TALK TO ME! I enjoy feedback, im thirsty for compliments, I LOVE YOU ALL ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU COMMENT
> 
> (seriously, it's a real confidence boost and makes me more productive-fanfic and school wise, and happy i love you all)


	24. keith angst! kangst? please help this boi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY THERE
> 
> WASSUP
> 
> ((i am SO SORRY but school is drop kicking my ass and i keep forgetting to do shit))
> 
> ((have your memes))
> 
> also the loner line from season three? keith must have had emotions about that so i did a thing with it

SPACE FAM

OodlEnOOdLe: campaign for shiro to stop working so fuckin hard

HUGSNOTDRUGS: Y E A H

KoGAYne: im i n he needs a b r e a k

Honey Nut Shiros: NO I NEEED TO FINSIH MY WROK

KoGAYne: dear lord

HUGSNOTDRUGS: shiro, pl e a se b abe this is bad for you

OodlEnOOdLe: shiro, take a long nap and lura and i will make you snacks and buy ice cream and we can all cuddle with Black on the couch and watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine 

Honey Nut Shiros: i wnat to butttt i gttoa finsuh

OodlEnOOdLe: i will change your nickname back to Space Daddy if you don’t go to sleep right now

Honey Nut Shiros: im GONIG

<>

SPACE FAM

Pirate King: guess who’s back

BestButterBean: BACK AGAIN

Lance Lance Revolution: SHAY SHAY SHAY

Asexual Birb: we never forgot about you ever

HUGSNOTDRUGS: how was asia???

BestButterBean: p great mate

BestButterBean: how has murica been???

Pirate King: ugh

BestButterBean: fair enough

BestButterBean: y’all spammed me with texts im so dead

HUGNOTDRUGS: sorry these meme fuckers are annoying like that

BestButterBean: AND YOU GOT CATS WITHOUT ME???!!!

HUGSNOTDRUGS: these meme fuckers are mean fuckers

BestButterBean: tru tru

<>

SPACE FAM

Asexual Birb: you ever think,, if we were in a tv show what tropes we would be?

HUGSNOTDRUGS: like??

Asexual Birb: keith’s the loner, im the brain

Asexual Birb: hunk’s the nice one, allura’s the decision maker

Asexual Birb: coran’s the wise old guy, and lance is the goofball!

Lance Lance Revolution: HEY NO IM THE COOL NINJA SHARPSHOOTER

KoGAYne: heh are you joking?

Lance Lance Revolution: :(

<>

Keith laughed about the trope talk. He thought it was funny, he really did. 

That didn’t mean it didn’t strike a chord in him. 

So Pidge, and probably everyone else too, thought he was a loner. And yeah, he was. Keith supposed he was, at least. What did it mean to be a loner anyway?

After so long of everyone considering him a dropout, a rebellious, troubled orphan, it stung for his own friends to call him a loner. Yeah, he was one, and yeah, they didn’t mean anything by it. 

But he couldn’t help reflecting their words with negative connotation. It stung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> question for y'all: are you the naruto run friend or the dab friend
> 
> im both because im a cringey person who likes to make people feel horrified as i slaughter them with the most awful of memes
> 
> ((btw they're watching b99 because the new season just started and im hype))
> 
> thanks for reading! and comment! please! it seriously helps!


	25. boys and girls and nonbinary peeps of every age,,, wouldn't you like to see something strange?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back from my school trip and it's october aka spoopy month aka PRIME TIME MEME TIME
> 
> so have ur memes
> 
> and have some klance fluff to make up for keith's angst last chapter
> 
> thanks for reading my shit everyone,, i can't even believe the amount of hits on this

“KEITH! KEITH! KEITH!” Lance screamed.

Keith turned to look at him.

“It’s HALLOWEEN!”

“Lance, it’s early October.”

“Exactly! IT’S HALLOWEEN!”

He rolled his eyes playfully. “I can’t believe you.” 

“We have to watch Nightmare Before Christmas!” 

“Isn’t that a Christmas movie?” Keith drawled. 

“I can’t believe you! It’s clearly a Halloween movie.”

“It’s literally called Nightmare before Christmas, Lance. It’s a Christmas movie.”

“That’s it! I’m asking the group chat.”

<>

SPACE FAM

Lance Lance Revolution: Keef and I are having a debate

Lance Lance Revolution: is Nightmare Before Christmas a Christmas or Halloween movie?

KoGAYne: clearly Christmas!

Lance Lance Revolution: CLEARLY HALLOWEEN!

HUGSNOTDRUGS: idk lance i think it’s christmas

Asexual Birb: r e a l l y?? It’s halloween 

Lance Lance Revolution: wow allura can’t believe you betrayed me 

KoGAYne: YES TAKE THAT LANCE YOU BITCH

Lance Lance Revolution: T H A N K Y O U P I D G E

KoGAYne: i thought you were the sm a rt one PIDGE

Honey Nut Shiros: weLL it’s christmas, kids

Lance Lance Revolution: NOOOOOOOOOOOo

KoGAYne: YESSSSSSSSSs

OodlEnOOdLe: no it’s definitely halloween

Lance Lance Revolution: GOOD SHIT GOOD MEME

KoGAYne: >:(

BestButterBean: idk man isn’t it both?

Pirate King: YEAH it’s both

Lance Lance Revolution: WOW not even taking a stance that’s the LOWEST OF ALL

KoGAYne: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SHIT

Lance Lance Revolution: we tied…

KoGAYne: NOT IF I GET TO CORAN FIRST

Lance Lance Revolution: OH FUCK YOU KOGANE

Pirate King: just like an old married couple

<>

“CORANNNNNNN!” Lance screeched as he ran into the cat shelter.

Several horrified patrons stared as he sprinted his way between the kennels, dashing straight into the break room at the speed of light. 

Keith followed him right inside, shouting something along the lines of “YOU’RE FUCKING LOSING, MCCLAIN!”

Coran blinked in shock at the two exhausted boys in front of him. It was clear that they’d both sprinted the whole way there. 

“Coran! Is Nightmare Before Christmas a Halloween or Christmas movie?” The duo demanded at the same time.

“Well, if I’m being honest.” Coran mused. “I haven’t the slightest idea! I’ve never seen it.”

Both Keith and Lance’s eyes went comically wide. 

Wait for it, Coran thought. 3, 2, 1…

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

<>

SPACE FAM

KoGAYne: *distant pained screeches* s cho o l 

KoGAYne: school is kicking my ass rn

Asexual Birb: i stg someone died and now haunts our school its fuckin scary man

KoGAYne: GET THE SALT

Lance Lance Revolution: WHO DIED VIOLENTLY IN OUR SCHOOL LETS FIND THEIR GRAVE AND GET RID OF EM

KoGAYne: I GOT A LIGHTER, YOU GET THE PIE

Asexual Birb: g u y s p l e a s e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> QUESTION OF THE DAY IS THE QUESTION KLANCE WAS ARGUING ABOUT ANYWAY
> 
> is it halloween or christmas?
> 
> im in hunk and shay's Both Boat(tm)
> 
> and this was written before my school trip, hence school kicking everyone's ass,, though i know i'll be back to that like next week after thanksgiving lol please put me out of my misery
> 
> thank y'all for reading, go check out your nearest national parks they are hella cool places, ily all bye!!


	26. last call for memes and fluff before we hit the angst train! CHOO CHOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some memes and fluff,, because i love you all
> 
> fair warning tho the slow burn is INTENSE
> 
> enjoy!

SPACE FAM

 

Lance Lance Revolution: THEY TRIED TO PUT ME ON THE COVER OF VOGUE

HUGSNOTDRUGS: BUT MY LEGS WERE TOO LOOOOOOONNGG

Lance Lance Revolution: im l e g endary

HUGSNOTDRUGS: ALL LEGS NO DAIRY

Lance Lance Revolution: im l e g endary

HUGSNOTDRUGS: ALL LEGS NO DAIRY

Lance Lance Revolution: LEGS LEGS

HUGSNOTDRUGS: WHAT’S ON THE MENU

Lance Lance Revolution: LEGS LEGS

HUGSNOTDRUGS: WHAT’S ON THE MENU

Lance Lance Revolution: LEGS LEGS

HUGSNOTDRUGS: WHAT’S ON THE MENU

Lance Lance Revolution: *claps aggressively*

HUGSNOTDRUGS: LEG

Lance Lance Revolution: LEGS LEGS

HUGSNOTDRUGS: WHAT’S ON THE MENU

Lance Lance Revolution: LEGS LEGS

HUGSNOTDRUGS: WHAT’S ON THE MENU

Lance Lance Revolution: LEGS LEGS

HUGSNOTDRUGS: WHAT’S ON THE MENU

Lance Lance Revolution: *claps aggressively*

HUGSNOTDRUGS: LEG

KoGAYne: should i even ask

Honey Nut Shiros: let them be

<>

SPACE FAM

Asexual Birb: *in seductive voice* talk memes to me

OodlEnOOdLe: I CANNOT BELIBE

OodlEnOOdLe: MY BABY SISTER

OodlEnOOdLe: big mood but,,

OodlEnOOdLe: ROMANCE BAD KATIE ROMANCE BAD

Asexual Birb: im romancing MEMES mattie

Asexual Birb: im an asexual fuck 

OodlEnOOdLe: lemme put it in terms you understand

OodlEnOOdLe: ROMANCE = BAD

Asexual Birb: omg,, romance is bad,, i’ve seen the light,,, i know now,, 

Honey Nut Shiro: romance is that bad? :(

Asexual Birb sent YEET.png

HUGSNOTDRUGS: in what way does that help

OodlEnOOdLe: um...sh i t

Asexual Birb: you brought this on yourself matt

<>

Like Friends but Not in the Same Place Anymore

Pirate King: lance,, you do realize that,, you and keith have basically been on two dates already right

Lance Lance Revolution: WHAT

Pirate King: that time you binged disney and that time you watched the emoji movie together

Asexual Birb: he right

Lance Lance Revolution: oh my god

<>

Deep breaths, Lance. Deep breaths. Pray that Keith never steals your phone again. 

They were right, he had basically gone on two dates with Keith, though unofficial. His heart hammered in his chest, and he knew an absolutely dopey smile crossed his face. Lance was so far gone.

Fuck Lotor and the minute or so of feelings he had for the guy. Keith was so...amazing. In every way. 

Lance let a happy sigh out at the thought. Keith, Keith, Keith! He loved Keith. More than anything, ever. Lance was sure of it. 

He almost considered confessing his feelings, in his happiness. Maybe someday he’d be brave enough to say something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> hey yea so THANKs for reading my shit im v glad 
> 
> it gets ANGSTY next chapter tho 
> 
> are you READY FOR ANGST im ready for angst
> 
> question for y'all: SEASON FOUR HYPE OR WHAT???!!!!


	27. Alleyway more like AlleyWeeb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...im bad at titles don't judge me
> 
> Most of this was written pre-season four except the first bit because I NEEDED TO TALK ABOUT MY WEEB SON OKAY
> 
> Matt is a weeb. Matt likes Allura. Shiro likes Allura. Shiro likes Matt. SHALLURATT WITH MEME! MATT IS CANON

SPACE FAM

Asexual Birb: i knew my brother was a weeb but what the FUCk matt

OodlEnOOdLe: i don’t have to justify myself to you :(

Asexual Birb: i just found you hugging two body pillows

OodlEnOOdLe: um?? I don’t know what you’re talking about

Asexual Birb sent YOU’REAFUCKINWEEB

Pirate King: heCK 

Lance Lance Revolution: wow hunk language

Pirate King: :(

Asexual Birb: the body pillows remind me uncomfortably of shiro and allura,,,

HUGSNOTDRUGS: okay why are you cuddling pillow me when you could cuddle real me??!!

Honey Nut Shiros: um,, SAME

OodlEnOOdLe: omw now!

Asexual Birb: weeb

<>

Private Chat between Lance Lance Revolution and KoGAYne

Lance Lance Revolution: guess who made dinner? Home made shit up in here tonight!

KoGAYne: you are my everything

KoGAYne: light of my life

KoGAYne: sunshine in my darkness

KoGAYne: lance you are the most important person alive rn

Lance Lance Revolution: lmao just get here im waiting with food and i’ve got die hard ready to go

KoGAYne: I’M AT THE CAFE I’LL BE THERE ASAP 

<>

Keith chugged the remainder of his coffee as fast as he could, tossing it in the garbage and slinking into the alley. 

It was just barely 5pm and he wanted to get home as fast as possible-He couldn’t wait to get home and spend more time with Lance(a Die Hard marathon was just a perk).

The alleyway seemed darker than usual. It was getting closer to winter, but it was as if the air was cooler. Like someone was following him.

“Hey, Kogane!” A voice called out from behind him.

He whirled his head around to see a group of five people he faintly recognized. 

Four girls and...Lotor. 

“Stay away from Lance.” Lotor growled. “He’s mine.”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows. “Lance doesn’t belong to you. He doesn’t belong to anyone! He’s his own person. And he doesn’t even like you, Lotion.”

Walking-L’Oreal-Ad frowned. It almost looked more sad than angry.

Then he waved his hand dismissively. “Beat him up.”

Keith’s eyes widened in terror. His arms flew up in front of his face protectively. 

Lotor’s girl gang didn’t seem to care. They came closer and closer. Keith braced himself. 

The first few hits collided with him. Then his vision went black and the world around him faded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> im really sorry but its a major plot point keith was gonna be beat up by them in one of my earliest concepts for this
> 
> don't worry the story's gonna start winding down after this until it all comes to an end!
> 
> question of the chapter: favourite snack food-
> 
> i personally have a strong liking towards basically ANY snack food like chips bc i love chips and cheesy snacks and shit i just,, i love it im snacking on pizza flavoured chips right now


	28. worry to the power of 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lance is freaking the fuck out please help him
> 
> SO YEAH IM BACK I BRING WORRIED LANCE AND SHIT
> 
> i am reALLY SORRY FOR LAST TIME BUT IT WAS NEEDED FOR PLOT REASONS

Private Chat between Lance Lance Revolution and KoGAYne

Lance Lance Revolution: Keith?

Lance Lance Revolution: Hey! Keith?

Lance Lance Revolution: Buddy? My man?

Lance Lance Revolution: The food’s getting cold! Don’t you want some?

Lance Lance Revolution: Keith?

Lance Lance Revolution: Keith where are you and why are you taking so long?

Lance Lance Revolution: Is this a joke? It isn’t funny...

Lance Lance Revolution: I’m really worried. Come on, Keith?

Lance Lance Revolution: Where are you?

Lance Lance Revolution: Are you okay?

Lance Lance Revolution: Keith please…

Lance Lance Revolution: What’s holding you up, man?

Lance Lance Revolution: Please come home I’m so worried…

Lance Lance Revolution: Keith please respond! Please answer! 

Lance Lance Revolution: Please be okay!

<>

Lance paced worriedly. Keith said he would be there asap. It had been almost two hours. Nowhere on campus was far away for Keith to have taken an hour from there to home.

Was he hurt? Did something happen? 

Okay, okay. Think. Keith said he was at the cafe. Lance would head over there and see if he was okay and if it was some big prank, then whatever, because he just wanted to know if Keith was okay. 

Lance alerted their friends. Then he snatched his coat off the hook and sprinted outside. 

<>

SPACE FAM

Lance Lance Revolution: guys keith said he would be home asap but he isn’t responding to me im gonna go look for him

Honey Nut Shiros: Keith isn’t responding??!!

HUGSNOTDRUGS: Oh my god!

Asexual Birb: WHAT WHERE IS HE?!

Pirate King: OMG KEITH NO

BestButterBean: How can we help???!!

OodlEnOOdLe: Yeah what can we do??!!

Lance Lance Revolution: be ready for anything i don’t know why he isn’t responding

Lance Lance Revolution: i’ve sent him a billion texts and he was just texting me a few minutes before them

Lance Lance Revolution: im going to find him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> spoopy time is now,, it's right around the corner
> 
> what kind of spoop are you being??
> 
> im a jellyfish this year its gonna be great (my best friend said it's a dumb costume but actually it looks pertty great so far so HA TAKE THAT BITCH)


	29. Vanilla Twilight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka the only chapter with a serious and inaccurate name 
> 
> anyway,,, remember how i said it would all be worth it in the end?? it's worth it. it is. i swear. this is where suddenly things are worth it.
> 
> EDIT: disclaimer: if you or someone you know actually has something like this happen to you PLEASE go to the hospital this is a fanfiction not real life

Lance burst into the alley shortcut that he knew Keith liked to take after going to the Lion’s Cup. He’d been nowhere else, he had to be here.

There! In the corner of his vision. 

Keith was lying down, curled up...like someone had been hitting him. 

Lance gasped in shock and rushed to his side. The other boy was covered in bruises and cuts. A throbbing black eye was the most clear, and he seemed to have sprained his ankle (if the swelling was anything to go by).

He immediately took action, picking Keith up and carrying him bridal style. 

“Who did this you?” He whispered to the still unconscious Keith.  
<>

SPACE FAM

Lance Lance Revolution: I found Keith

Lance Lance Revolution: Get here soon. Bring ice and the like. 

Lance Lance Revolution: Someone beat him up in the alley behind the Lion’s Cup.

BestButterBean: NO NO NO! 

Pirate King: im grabbing ice i’ll be there asap

Asexual Birb: IM COMING TOO

HUGSNOTDRUGS: shiro would text too but we’re already on our way and he’s a law-abiding citizen

OodlEnOOdLe: Yeah! 

<>

Keith’s eyes opened to fuzzy surroundings. As they cleared and adjusted, he mostly noticed his killer headache. 

Then he noticed that Lance was straddling him, dabbing at some cuts on his shoulder. His own jacket and shirt were hanging off to the side. 

Keith felt heat rush to his cheeks. 

“You’re awake! Oh my gosh, I’m so glad you’re okay...” Lance trailed off. He hadn’t stood up. In fact, it seemed like he was leaning closer. 

The other boy’s focus drifted back to the injuries speckled across Keith’s bare chest. 

He gently cleaned a few more. “What happened?”

Keith shifted, a little uncomfortable. “Lotor and this gang of girls attacked me in the alleyway.”

Fear, worry and anger flashed through Lance’s eyes.

“Why would he do that?”

He stretched his arms out a little. They were sore from all the bruises. 

“Something about staying away from you, I think.”

“I don’t belong to him. I don’t even have feelings for the guy anymore.” Lance confessed.

“That’s what I told him. He had his girls beat me up, and left after I passed out.”

“Everyone was really worried about you, you know?” Lance said. His voice was quieter, not quite a whisper but not full speech either.

“I...I didn’t. Thanks.” Keith managed awkwardly, emotions flooding him. 

Lance gave him the softest smile he’d ever seen. “C’mon, let’s get you to your bed. I’ll bring you something to eat, and we can relax and do something you like, watch an action movie, maybe research cryptids? Whatever you want.”

Keith smiled back, pushing himself off the couch only to realize.

“Lance, I can’t walk.”

The other boy laughed awkwardly. “I looked at your ankle. I think it’s sprained pretty bad. I can carry you, if you’d like?”

Keith was sure his entire face had turned red. “C-Carry me?”

Lance rolled his eyes playfully, smiling and already lifting Keith in the air. 

<>

By the time the night was turning light blue, everyone in their friend group had come around and they all were laughing and watching movies and eating an unknown number of unhealthy snacks. 

Even Coran had swung by, with a batch of muffins that had disappeared within 20 minutes. 

It seemed like everyone was asleep as the sounds of the credits faded away. Lance was sure he was the only one still conscious. 

Keith lay on the same couch as him, ankle up and eyes shut. His hair swept past his forehead, his lips were slightly upturned as if he were having a great dream, and occasionally he’d shift in his sleep, or murmur something. He drooled. It was still the most beautiful thing Lance had ever seen. 

“You have no idea what you do to me.” He whispered. “I’m so in love with you, Keith. I wish you knew.”

He stood up to bring his cup to the kitchen, not noticing a pair of lavender eyes snapping open in shock behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> *Ode to Joy playing*
> 
> KLANCE IT UP IN HERE
> 
> 1) yes 'the night turns light blue' is referencing Owl City's Vanilla Twilight it gives me EMOTIONS so i wrote it in and named the chapter after it. also twilight is kinda purple and keith's eyes are purple and also the end point so  
> 2)yes lance's love confession was slightly based around James Arthur's Say You Won't Let Go because i love that song it's too fucking cute that shit is right out of a fanfiction i swear (lance is a total dork he'd sing it on their wedding day i swear i swear...im a total dork i'd sing it on my wedding day).  
> 3)try rereading this while playing either song i listened to both while writing 10/10 would recommend 
> 
> Anyway: sorry for the cliffhanger scream at me in the comments?


	30. the Bird and the Worm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two whole chapters with serious names?? wut?
> 
> yes it's another owl city song. the one with pining fluff vibes. listen to it. 
> 
> these two dorks i fucking love them

Keith mentally screamed. Lance liked him back. Lance LIKED HIM BACK. 

What the fuck? What kind of fuckery is this? Fuck fuck fuck; Lance liked him back! Holy shit...holy fucking God. 

He felt heat rise to his cheeks and a lovestruck grin crossed his features. Lance went to the kitchen. He had to go tell Lance!

He stood up only to fall right back down as his ankle failed to support his weight. Shit, he forgot about that.

Lance peered back into the main area. Keith blushed, giving him an awkward smile. 

Lance’s eyes went wide and he turned bright red. 

“Lance, wait! C’mere, I can’t walk!”

The other boy looked like he was about to cry, but Keith still couldn’t stop smiling.

“I-I like you too!” He managed, still trying to stand.

And then Lance was crying. He was moving, running, falling onto the couch with him. He was laughing, and smiling, and asking if he could kiss him. Then Lance was kissing him and everything smelled like mangos and LUSH bathbombs and coconut oil, and Lance was holding him and Keith was happy. 

They both cried. They laughed and smiled and kissed again. Keith kissed harder. Lance kissed right back. 

And everything was okay.

<>

SPACE FAM

Pirate King: i wake up to this adorable shit?? How dare?? In my good household (this isn’t my house oops)?? 

Pirate King sent PDAyafucks.png

Lance Lance Revolution: hi yeah keith is the cutest shit he’s the best 

KoGAYne: i’ll fuckin fight you you’re the cutest

Asexual Birb: aaaaaaHHHHHHHHH your eternal pining!! It’s over!!

Pirate King: IM FINALLY FREE

Lance Lance Revolution: ...rude

Honey Nut Shiros: IM FUCKING FREE

Asexual Birb: holy shit dad cursed

Pirate King changed their nickname to AND I’M FREE

AND IM FREE changed Honey Nut Shiros name to FREE FALLIN’

FREE FALLIN’: im crying tears of joy?? I love my not dead gay son!!

KoGAYne: i am the gayest i have ever been 

Lance Lance Revolution: me, a bi person: same

HUGSNOTDRUGS changed their nickname to KLANCE TRASH #1

KLANCE TRASH #1: KLANCE IS CANON

AND I’M FREE: im so proud :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> *cries* IM?? I LOVE THEM SO MUCH?? 
> 
> pretty sure this is the fluffiest shit i've ever written
> 
> thank you for reading! KLANCE IS TOGETHER AND MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!!
> 
> q u e s t i o n : instant ramen or instant mac and cheese? i can make both from scratch but hey instant still tastes good and i like both quite a bit.


	31. ooh!! first? third? date!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuckin?? hit me up with that good klance shit
> 
> all of you are sensational THANK YOU FOR THE AMAZING COMMENTS

SPACE FAM

Lance Lance Revolution linked a video

Lance Lance Revolution: WHERE ARE THEY???

KoGAYne: im?? what???

Lance Lance Revolution: Where are the two bros chillin in a hot tub? They’re more than five feet apart??? 

Asexual Birb: ahh yes gay culture vine

Asexual Birb: i don’t know im very sad they’re gone

Lance Lance Revolution: *cries in spanish*

<>

“Keith?”

“Yeah Lance?”

“Wanna go on a date?”

“Y-Yeah! I’ll be ready in a sec!”

<>

“So um, it’s a nice night. With a clear sky. A movie and dinner kind of thing feels really cliche...and so I thought we could go stargazing?” 

Lance smiled earnestly at Keith, telescope in hand. 

Keith felt a gentle blush rise to his cheeks. Lance knew him so well…

“That sounds amazing.”

They spent much of the night doing so-holding hands and naming constellations. 

As it turned out, Lance didn’t know that many. Keith knew almost all of them, and laughed enthusiastically when the other boy started making up names for random star clusters they had spotted.

“That one is...Shitty Diner With Fries As Its Only Saving Grace. Over there is a bird! No, a plane. No, the Superman constellation! And there’s the ever-beautiful Space Prince. You know the legends behind that one?”

Keith snorted. “Nope.”

“Well, they say that he descends from space every few centuries, to spend time with humans. The Space Prince is cunning, intelligent and clever, but kind and caring, too. He gives the best hugs, second only to the sun itself. He is a known beauty, said to be irresistible to any with sharp eyes. And most importantly…” Lance leaned very close, and whispered for emphasis. “His name is Keith and he’s the best person I know.”

Keith blushed. Lance had quite a way with words. Keith had always been better with artwork. 

He leaned right next to the other boy, imitating him, but quickly losing his suave composure. “I’m thinking very nice things about you but I have no idea how to express them!” Keith blurted out. 

Lance’s eyes lit up anyway, a dazzling smile coating his features.   
“Thanks Keith.”

It was midnight by the time they got home, distracted by all manner of kisses and cuddles and brand new constellations. 

<>

Private Chat between Pirate King and Lance Lance Revolution

Lance Lance Revolution: HUNK YOU WON’T BELIEVE

Pirate King: im gonna stop you right there if this has ANYTHING to do with keith and how amazing/good/kind/smart he is, or how soft his smile is...

Lance Lance Revolution: geez okay i won’t tell you

Pirate King: I AM DONE WITH YOUR PINING LANCE

<>

Private Chat between Honey Nut Shiros and KoGAYne

KoGAYne: sHIRO OH MY GOD

Honey Nut Shiros: if this has anything to do with lance im blocking you

KoGAYne: okay okay

<>

Private Chat between Pirate King and Lance Lance Revolution

Pirate King: okay

Pirate King: tell me all about it

Lance Lance Revolution: i knew you were too nosy to resist ;)

Pirate King: >:(

Lance Lance Revolution: we went stargazing and he was so amazing! 

Pirate King: Stargazing??

Lance Lance Revolution: movie and dinner seemed too cliche 

Pirate King: ur a dork 

Lance Lance Revolution: i know but keith liked it so i don’t care

Pirate King: most wholesome thing ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> HUNK IS ACTUALLY ME
> 
> talk to me,, tell me how you feel bout things
> 
> like? favourite school subj-NAW TELL ME WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE VINE IS WHO NEEDS EDUCATION


	32. contact ur local reps about net neutrality (also lotor is redeemed but that's not important now is it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not even american but i know my country will probably follow america's lead if it succeeds and im nervous so ANY AMERICANS OUT THERE PLEASE CONTACT YOUR REPS AND THREATEN TO NOT VOTE FOR THEM
> 
> alright thanks y'all are great

SPACE FAM

Asexual Birb: well america is a trash bin what’s new

BestButterBean: geez pidge what’s happening

Asexual Birb: who would win? The entire internet or one greedy boi

KoGAYne: is this about the FCC trying to repeal net neutrality?

KoGAYne: those fuckers

Asexual Birb: i know right?? What if they actually succeed tho?

BestButterBean: i guess we just hope they don’t and yell at them constantly until then

<>

Private Chat between Princey~ and Lance Lance Revolution

Lance Lance Revolution: Lotor.

Princey~: Yes?

Lance Lance Revolution: You beat up Keith. I thought my message was pretty clear. I’m not into you, I don’t belong to you. Leave me and my friends alone. 

Princey~: Lance I was just protecting you!

Lance Lance Revolution: Protection? You hurt Keith. Talk to me again and I’ll be the one giving you a black eye. 

Lance Lance Revolution blocked Princey~

<>

“I think he and Kogane got together.” Ezor said, patting Lotor on the back. “It’s okay. You’ll find someone else.”

Lotor’s tears messed up his face mask. “I don’t think I will…”

All his girls were with him, each in varying states of spa day. Ezor sighed, eyebrows creasing in concern. 

“You’ll be okay, Lotor. You always are.” Acxa added.

He smiled a little, through his tears. He’d always have his friends, even if he didn’t have a significant other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality-not
> 
> so yeah lotor is ON HIS WAY to being less of an asshole he isn't perfect immediately but honestly this story is one chapter away from being done so this is the last you'll see of him
> 
> also klance was mentioned in a nytimes article!! it's what they deserve.
> 
> i love them so much


	33. THE END!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hOOOOLLLYYYYY SHIIITTTT THIS IS IT
> 
> I took ages to finish this one to make sure it was perfect! I'm so glad all of you stuck around to agonize over my memes and my slowburn. 
> 
> Now, I don't actually have any other fics lined up aside from an assortment of ideas so don't expect anything new for a while. But I'm overjoyed that I finally finished this!
> 
> Enjoy the final chapter!

“Ah! Lance!”

“Yes, my beautiful, wonderful boyfriend?”

“I think my ankle’s worse!”

“Shit, what?”

<>

Their second date (or, fourth, if you count those kinda dates before they were together) ended in a trip to the hospital. 

That was okay. 

They got Keith some crutches, and were yelled at by a nurse for not coming in earlier. 

It was still okay. Keith thought it was hilarious, and Lance made up for it by buying him chocolate from the vending machines.

Years later, they’d laugh about it.

<>

Years Later:

“Hey Lance?” 

Lance turned his head towards his boyfriend, looking away from the beautiful waterfall in the fairy light lit clearing. 

Immediately, he felt tears well up beneath his eyes at the sight. 

Keith was on one knee. He was crying, too.

“I love you. And I want to marry you. I don’t thi-ink there’s much more I can say...I had this whole long s-speech planned but you STILL get me tongue-tied, you idiot...I’m not good with words, Lance, but I...I know what I want. I want to be with you.”

“You b-beat me to the pu-unch, asshole!” Lance sobbed, pulling the ring he’d bought for Keith out of his own pocket. “I love you so much…”

They both laughed through their tears. The two of them traded rings, and shared a teary kiss, not for the first or the last time. 

<>

SPACE FAM

BasicBi-tch: WE’RE GONNA

GayTexan: BE MARRIED

BestButterBean: wait hold on which one of you proposed??!!

BasicBi-tch: KEITH PROPOSED

GayTexan: LANCE PROPOSED

BestButterBean: waIT

Hunkules: Lance bought a ring a month or so ago and said he planned to do it tonight

SpAcE DaDdY: Keith did the same lol 

Matt 2.0, the better version: did they both propose on the same night then?

BasicBi-tch: yes katie that’s exactly what happened

GayTexan: we’re some cliche fucks  
Matt 1.0, the original edition: y’all,,, are so cute im gonna scream

BeautyPrincess: can confirm this is what he’s doing

GayTexan: shiro as repayment for me getting to be Best Man @your wedding,,

SpAcE DaDdY: yes??????

GayTexan: im picking pidge

SpAcE DaDdY: WHAT NO KATIE CAN’T HANDLE RESPONSIBILITY

Matt 2.0, the better version: WHAT NO I CAN’T HANDLE RESPONSIBILITY

GayTexan: im kidding i love you big bro be my best man? <3

SpAcE DaDdY: honestly fuck you i love you too lil bro and i’d be honoured <3

BasicBi-tch: HUNK I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO ASK YOU KNOW ITS GONNA BE YOU

Hunkules: I DO

GayTexan: alright we have ages of planning and agonizing over finances to get to

BasicBi-tch: we’re gonna go cuddle and watch a movie. and make out for half the movie. 

GayTexan: exactly.

<>

THE END!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high-quality
> 
> sooooo THAT's IT
> 
> It's over, it's done. There is no more! I'm both happy and sad at this point lol
> 
> It's been a while-more than half a year since I posted the first chapter of this and I'm feeling really bittersweet about seeing it done. None of it would have been finished without the encouragement and support all of you gave me :) It's been a real confidence boost for me since I started posting. You have no idea how much a single comment means to me. It's the world, it's everything. This story, or rather this compilation of memes and feelings that I spewed onto a random google document then copy pasted into ao3's messed up formatting, has been a ride from start to finish. Thank you all SO MUCH for staying till the end. 
> 
> <3 love you!


End file.
